The damage is already done! Now what?

Cry from the heart of a Mother/Grandmother and soon to be Great-Grandmother

or maybe she already is a great-grandmother, only they would know.

(The Emotional Pain is very different and without understanding!)

So, What’s Their Preference?

The way she was years ago, or the way she is today? Just who would or is benefiting by either?

What about Family Communications?

Granddaughter # one has already admitted to not knowing her grandma. Doesn’t know how to talk to her, doesn’t know what to talk about.

Where are the children/grandchildren?

How is today any different than when Ben, Abby & Maggie were being kept away when Grandpa was still alive and well (over 11 years ago)? Caleb and Leah had/have no part – Brad and Daniel had/have no part, but were treated like family! Sad to say, Grandma has forgotten the names of the two little ones, even though she still has pictures of them. Exactly when those pictures were taken, she doesn’t remember, but they were taken by a Christmas tree!

Do you think she is “depressed” (the word is over-used)? No, she isn’t depressed, she is just lonely. Sad that no-one calls to check in except on rare occasions, no-one visits except on rare occasions.

Is that their preference? Very limited communication!

She is willing to comply! She can relieve some of the pressure of communication expectation! She could leave the area. If she did so, much of her own expectations would be greatly decreased. “Surely a lot of grief and pain must be connected with the past!” When a subject comes up that there is no memory of, she becomes emotional, even to the point of experiencing trauma. “Yes, it can be very traumatic!” The emotions are stirred because there are so many unanswered questions, and “"No One” is willing to answer them. No One wants to talk about the “past”!

Every time someone tells her: “It is in the past, forget about it and move on with your life”, she wonders; what is it that she doesn’t remember that she is supposed to forget about. Plus, she says: “Move on with which life? The life she doesn’t remember – or – being alive today? What is life without the support of family and friends, it is actually very strange. With very little knowledge of the past it becomes difficult to know one’s self in the present and life doesn’t seem to have much purpose. How does one make goals for one’s self, in the presence of such void?

“Full of Dreams but few Dreams ever become Reality!”

Dreams just “Dreams”!

E-mail: searchingforthetruth1@yahoo.com