May 29, 2010

“Memory Cells are priceless, stop destroying them!”

I went down for the count, down but never out. It was impossible to take a break from the things in my mind. I tried very, very hard, to pull myself up but couldn’t, so I finally gave in and welcomed the aid of Psychiatry. I gave myself into their hands believing I would get help. They promised me no more problems, no more heartache, no more decisions to make because they (the Psychiatrists) would take good care of me!

Spring is here and time for good weather. It is also time to get ready for outdoor sports. I love softball! While I am on the subject, how about stepping up to the plate and taking a good hard swing at getting our legislators out of their chairs and on to the floor in order to take action, and pass the necessary laws to protect their constituents (everyone in their district) against Psychiatric over-drugging and ECT whether voluntary or involuntary.

What I mean is: does the trauma ever end after having had ECT? Over the holidays I experienced trauma when realizing I had no memory of having visited my mother in the nursing home. I also have not memory of having lost both of my parents, and my in-laws within a 15 month period of time. I spent time with family members that I had not seen for over 11 years. While at their home, my brother and sister-in-law spoke of the time period I mentioned. I couldn't even get a picture the size of a pin head in my mind. There is no memory of those days.

One sunny afternoon late summer 2009, I went to a nearby park. As I sat on a deck overlooking the river, the following is what came to mind!

“ Sunset “

As the Sun is setting in the West behind me
I am watching the flow of the water
in the Flint River
It will soon be dark her and I will have to leave
Time is moving as swift as the water
and the light is fading
So goes my life as well
Time marches swiftly and carries me along with it
Many years of my life were lost to medication and ECT’s
Then one day I was revived, only to realize
that life had passed me by

ECT's are painful but they don't want you to know that when they (Psychiatrists) are trying to get you to sign that infamous "consent form"! During the years that I was locked into the "system of psychiatry", I was heavily drugged and also received a minimum of 56 ECT's (according to my medical records). The Psychiatrist diagnosed me as having Psychomotor Retardation, and in the same paragraph said that I appeared competent to sign the consent form. Even when I was on a "cocktail" of drugs, they took my signature.